Politics

In a move that has legal scholars, political pundits, and at least three traffic cops scratching their heads, President Donald J. Trump announced today that he’s personally taking over law enforcement duties in Washington, D.C. “This is tremendous news for America,” Trump declared from the steps of the Capitol, wearing a police hat that looked…

In a farewell speech so dramatic it could have been directed by Michael Bay, outgoing President Joe Biden sounded the alarm about America’s looming transformation into an oligarchy—as if the oligarchs hadn’t already been hosting dinner parties on private yachts for decades. According to Biden, the future belongs to the ultra-rich, a chilling prophecy that…

Let’s get this straight: fiscal conservatives in Congress are basically the overbearing parents who say, “Do as I say, not as I do,” while raiding your Halloween candy stash. They print the money, control the money, and somehow still manage to act like they’re broke. It’s the kind of gaslighting that’d make even a Marvel…